The Wedding
By Mark Greenow
I have just returned from an unforgettable life-affirming weekend. The story started about six months ago when I received a call out of the blue from a past student who I hadn’t talked to in years. He was calling me from his wedding reception venue (and what a venue it would turn out to be) to invite my wife and I to his wedding. He was excited of course and informed me that I was one of the first people he was inviting as he said I had played an important part in his development. We happily accepted.
The months passed, the invitation duly arrived and after lots of shopping for dresses and their surprisingly many accoutrements (I bought a shirt) the weekend arrived. So, my wife, the dog (she goes everywhere with us) and I set off in our packed car (two cases each - one for the wedding and one for the other days plus one for the dog and all sorts of other paraphernalia!) early Friday morning for our 7-hour drive to Madrid. We arrived safely for our three-night stay in a nice Airbnb in the trendy Chueca district.
We missed the pre-wedding party (a new thing apparently) because we had already arranged to go out to dinner with a lovely couple, we had got to know through the summer school and when their children converted to main school for their A levels I became their Guardian in the UK. They live in an apartment overlooking Real Madrid’s fantastic Santiago Bernabeu stadium, which I hadn’t seen since it has been reformed. So, we took a number 27 bus and met them at their home and enjoyed the view. Dad is a big Real Madrid fan and season ticket holder, and I am a Barcelona fan, so we always have a bit of banter. I asked him if he still had the same car with the FCB (Football Club Barcelona) number plate? He did. He teased me about Barcelona’s stadium delays and financial problems. All good fun. He had booked a restaurant inside the stadium, and we had a table overlooking the pitch. I must admit that both the view and the food were spectacular.
Of course, we spent most of the evening talking about the children a girl and a boy. The girl had gone on to do a degree in London and worked in fashion in a few spots around Europe before going on to do a master’s in politics in Georgetown University in Washington DC. She has completed that but stayed on and is now working there which must be interesting these days! The boy was a bit of a computer whizz. He beat me at chess when he was about 13, I have never forgiven him. He went on to do his degree in New York and has stayed in America ever since. He got married there and after working in various companies now has his own new start up business. I apologised if I had played any part in their children being so far away from them, but they were happy of course and so proud of all they were achieving.
They didn’t know the Groom and his family very well because the children were different ages, but they had coincided a little bit. They told the story that they were visiting their son in Manhattan and when walking down a street a small group of people were walking towards them. There was some recognition but uncertainty on both sides and after having passed each other by they all turned around at the same time and realised it was the Groom. They chatted for a while about their summer school connection. It is a small world!
The next day, after a well-deserved lie in we went for a walk in the rain and put a smile on the faces of half of Madrid – our dog has that affect on people! As they say in Spain “Mal tiempo ponen buena cara”. Bad weather puts on a good face. Then we got ready for the big occasion.
I first met the Groom over 20 years ago when he attended the Summer School with his two brothers. He is the middle of the three. For the first two summers I got to know the parents well because the youngest was only seven at the time and was a day pupil (this option available at our Brambletye campus) as they stayed for six weeks both years in a local pub. They eventually trusted me enough to look after the boys without them- even after a famous incident with stingy nettles on an activity course when they thought the little one had been scarred for life. I hadn’t seen the parents again until the wedding. All three boys continued to attend for as long as they could though. The youngest became the record holder attending 10 summers for 6 weeks every year - 60 weeks! The two older boys also did a couple of summers as staff - the younger one had had enough! The Groom also did some work experience one summer in our bookings office where he tried to do a bit of Elon Musk DOGE on our systems. He met with a bit of resistance there too from our fantastic administrator but was always remembered fondly by the team. He was brilliant and multi-talented. He taught himself to play the piano online as a child and as I would later find out now plays the guitar. He is now one of Spain’s top young lawyers to watch! I was really looking forward to catching up with him, his two brothers also now lawyers (might come in handy one day) and his parents and of course to meet the bride.
The ceremony, held in the Basilica de San Miguel Arcangel, was extremely moving. Everything was beautiful, the setting, the sermon, the readings, the bride and groom, the music – Ave Maria was sung by a Spanish pop star (who my wife got a photo with later) and brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t help thinking about the tremendous unifying effect religion can and should have on society.
Then fighting for a taxi with the 400 other attendees in the rain. Big and little brother helped us, and we safely arrived at the reception venue – and what a venue it was – the grand 19th century Real Casino de Madrid. The pop star is already singing with another one now, canapes and drinks are being served, we spot politicians and TV presenters, but we are most delighted when we meet some other past students from the summer school.
We are all seated together of course just one removed from the head table. It was so nice to catch up with everybody and hear how they were all doing. The meal passed quickly with shared anecdotes and memories. One couple from Turkey had both attended and met in the Summer School when very young - the girl had later spent a lot of time with the Groom when they were both working in New York. The couple had met again by chance in Turkey years later and got married – I wonder if that would have happened without the summer school? I jokingly told them they should have married somebody from another country to get the full summer school impact. There was lots of laughter especially when I dropped my cloakroom key in my soup – senior moment. I did take offence though when one of them told me I had brought the summer school weather with me to Madrid!
We talked a lot about other students and staff they remembered, and they asked me how many of them were now. They were surprised – and so was I – that I knew so much about most of them. I realise that I was just the lucky representative of so many people who had helped them build all those memories. The team is everything. They even remembered my karaoke song (Angels) and one of them was devastated that he never got to ride on my buggy. The brothers popped over often and the Groom when he could - he was strangely in demand. Lots of photographs were taken and I had found an old photograph of the Groom when he was a very young student to embarrass him with and of the 8 other students with him in the photo 3 were at the table. My wife and I - she had been a part of some of the experiences - both had a fantastic time.
We had a little time with Mam and Dad and took a lovely photograph. Then the party started. The pop stars are back up and the Groom is on guitar. We danced (yes, I know) chatted and soaked up the wonderful atmosphere until it was time to go back to our patiently waiting dog.
The next day we had arranged to have lunch with a boy (they are still boys and girls to me) from the Ukraine who was a good friend of the Groom, and his lovely wife who is six months pregnant. He had invited me to his wedding too, but we couldn’t figure out how to get the dog there! I must admit I have always had a bit of a soft spot for him. He will be the first to admit he was a bit naughty when he was young. As an educator I have always said it is easy to teach the good ones (like the Groom), but it is much more rewarding to help those to whom say, it doesn’t come so naturally. He first came to my attention when I had to close down (twice) a tuck shop he had opened in his boarding house. So, he became a bit of a personal project. He got better but it didn’t stop him doing a striptease in a talent contest a few years later - and he won! He was very popular. He assured me he had put on lots of extra layers of clothes. He went on to go to university in Vienna and stayed there afterwards. He opened his own business 10 years ago which can’t have been easy in a different country in a different language. He is now one of Austria’s biggest alcohol distributors, expanding into a new bigger warehouse, employing lots of people, including his little brother who we worked out did 54 weeks in the summer school. I was pleased to see I hadn’t completely destroyed his entrepreneurial spirit – pun intended.
We talked a little about the war of course. His parents who I have met are safe even though they are close to the front lines. He and his brother can’t go back because they could be drafted. It’s a mess. After a great lunch we parted ways, and we are looking forward to the baby photos in a few months.
We ran out of time to meet another couple of friends. The weather was a good excuse not to play golf with one of them - I am very rusty. We will catch you next time guys, sorry.
The last evening, we had kept for a bit of our time to visit our favourite jazz bar I had first discovered 35 years ago when I was doing some modules for my Masters in Madrid. Live top-quality music every night of the year. A must do touchstone for us when in Madrid, and a perfect way to end a perfect weekend.
A weekend that reaffirmed to me that what we do is IMPORTANT and long-lasting. Much more so than we probably realise. The memories will be the threads that bind us as time goes by. At BSS we understand more than most the potential power of summer schools. Our purpose-built programmes are designed to offer holistic educational pathways as stepping stones that not only build skill sets and character but that will also resonate long into the future. Young people with us are supported by caring passionate professionals who help and guide them in the early stages of their unique life journeys. Our True Me course is key to that. We know that friendship groups will occur naturally, and we understand their importance, but we also nudge these along by engineering transformational experiences in a safe and caring environment. All happening under our overarching aims of helping students to live their BEST LIVES and to become FUTURE READY.
A future in an ever-shrinking world where it is very possible whether by accidental meetings or planned reunions we may meet again, and when we do that time, we shared together each summer will be cherished as part of our unique yet interconnected legacy. I am further down my life journey than most and I realise more and more the power of EDUCATION and FAMILY and hopefully RELIGION. I am also reminded of how lucky we are to work in a people industry where friendship and mutual respect matter. How many children have we helped to learn, find their place in the world, make friends and have some fun along the way? How many parents have we made proud of their children? It was so nice to meet some of them again last weekend. I love my job! I next look forward now to the visit of my ex-Secretary and her husband later this month.
So “Viva los Novios”. Cheers for the newlyweds. “Un abrazo” a hug to all staff and students I have had a shared history of quality time with over the years. A big hello and welcome to the new ones to come. I wish you all a wonderful future and look forward to the time our paths will cross again.